All Alone On Christmas
by ladywhiplasher
Summary: Skipper lost his team. He is all alone and it s christmas. Depression lead him to do the unbelievable. This is a nightmare come true with an unexpected ending. Warning: Very depressive and sad. Oneshot
1. Chapter 1

All Alone on Christmas

Like a zombie, he climbed through the hatch down to the HQ. Snowflakes and cold air was blown into each corner of the penguin habitat. When he arrived on the floor, his footsteps echoed through the deserted room. Everything was dark around him and the bitter cold of winter made Skipper feeling worse as he already felt. It was like a nightmare, because he was all alone now.

No one was there anymore, because he had lost his team. He couldn´t save them from a terrible fate. It was all Skipper's fault that his friends are dead now. If he had been just a little bit faster. Still the tears were burning in his eyes. The leader hoped that his tears will just disappear at some point, because he had cried a lot after he had sent his friend to death.

But again and again cold tears of sorrow poured down his face. Skipper felt so miserable and empty like he´d never felt before. Just as their HQ, which will never been filled with the joyful laughter of Private, with small explosions caused by Rico and Kowalski's scientific jibber jabber. Their home had lost all warmth and comfort. Skipper was all alone in the darkness and made himself terrible accusations. In his eyes, he was the only one to blame for this tragedy, just he alone. He should have ensured that his team survived the mission, but the brave leader had failed at all.

Still the cryes echoed in his head and he couldn´t get rid of them. Like spirits they surrounded him and tortured the helpless penguin even more. Skipper waddled to the couch, which was standing in front of their TV and collapsed in tears on it. He screamed in despair and his bitter cries echoed in the deserted room. "NO, NO. WHY?" Skipper howled and buried his head under his wings. This question he asked himself all the time after this tragedy happened. It was now three days ago, when his friends were drowned in the vastness of the ocean.

He couldn´t save them anymore. Skipper didn´t know, what he should do anymore. His stomach started to hurt, because he hadn´t eaten for days, but he wasn´t able to do this at all The bitter cold of winter wasn´t very helpful anyway Since he was on this mission, he was tortured by a severe flu and high fever, which was one of the possible reasons that he didn´t react fast enough to save his friends. He became more and more depressed, as he laid on the couch just thinking about the mistake that transfomed his life into a hopless nightmare.

He looked to Private home-made advent calendar and realized that today was Christmas Eve. This was like another punch into the stomach. He was so looking forward to the Christmas party with his friends. But now everything was just hopeless. This Christmas he will be all alone and Skipper didn´t know how to endure the otherwise joyous time.

Flashback-

It all started when the penguins wanted to hijack a cargo ship, with their so much desired fish on it. But they were caught. All penguins exept Skipper were locked into a box and placed on the deck. The leader tried to get them out of there, but he couldn´t break the lock of the box. Suddenly, dark clouds moved over the horizon and the pleasant winter weather was transformed within minutes into a white nightmare.

Skipper could hardly see through the heavy snowstorm where the box was standing, still containing his friends. The waves grew wilder and the ship rocked threatening. Ice-cold sea water washed the penguin almost from the deck b at the last sut he was able to hold himself on a grid in the very last second. But from there he had to watch helplessly as the box with his friends in it has been caught by an enourmous high wave and has been washed from the ship.

Skipper tried to stop it, but he had no chance against the icy waves. He saw through the thick snowstorm, as the box went down with his friends in the vastness of the sea. The leader jumped immediately afterwards, of course, looking for his friends. When he dove into the water, the icy-cold water pressed his lung together and he couldn´t possibly hold his breath.

Even in the Antarctic, the water was not so cold. Skipper watched the ship passing him and left the penguin alone back in the roaring waves. He clung desperately to a piece of wood that floated in the water because he couldn´t swim at all in this storm.

Skipper waited until the storm was getting easier and continued looking for his team. But he found nothing, no box, no one at all. He dived as deep as possible, but it was useless. Skipper was forced to give up and the terrible thought of that his friends were drowned, he realized more and more.

Now he could only save himself, thought the desperate leader and swam to the shore of New York. It took almost two days in which he struggled through the icy waters, but he just made it before his strength left him. Now he was alone in his return to the zoo. One last time he looked back over the sea and saluted in honor of his deceased friends

End of Flashback-

Skipper was coughing violently and his chest ached terrible. It seemed as he had caught a pneumonia through swimming in the icy sea. But all this seemed unimportant, because he wanted to die to see his comrades again. The hours of despair then retreated, as if someone slow down time.

Skipper heard the joyous Christmas congratulations of the other zoo inhabitants from above. But he didn´t want to see anyone at all and never again. Through his deep sorrow the leader felt like paralyzed. It was very late, as Skipper looked at the clock. But he wasn´t even able to drag himself to his bunk. He stayed on the couch and closed his bloodshot eyes, in the hope that he will get some sleep after all the hardships. But that was impossible. In his thought still echoed desperate cries that were like chained to his brain and made him suffer more emotional pain.

For hours he laid there thinking about why he had failed. He made himself more and more assucations which slowly transformed into a kind of self-hatred. An uncontrollable rage rose inside him and Skipper came to the conclusion that he didn´t deserved nothing but endless suffering. The penguin could feel icy cold air put on him, but he didn´t care. He didn´t care about anything anymore, even if this icy winter would even worsen the pneumonia he got.

After several hours of bitter self-loathing and depression Skipper slid into a nightmare. He dreamed the whole scene again from the beginning. He started to scream to get himself waking up from this nightmare. But he was captivated. He continued screaming and crying until he was too exhausted to. He woke up covered in sweat, breathing heavily.

Skipper felt his fever was burning through his body and robbed him all his remaining power. The penguin was just at the end of physical and emotional strengh. He could not fall asleep again because he was freezing in cold that surrounded him. But he did nothing about it.

Skipper looked at the clock and it was six o´ clock in the morning. Christmas. The word left a strange pain in his heart. As it would shatter into a thousand pieces. Slowly Skipper managed to get himself of the couch and waddled to the bunks to get his pillow.

But then he noticed something when his eyes wandered about Privates bed. The leader lifted the pillow of the little penguin and below it was a small gift, along with ribbon and Christmas pattern on the wrapping paper. A small note was attached to it. Skipper saw it and read it. But that word written on it gave him the feeling like his heart has been torn out.

It was written: For Skipper, all love and Merry Christmas. Private ...

This was too much for the penguin, he was petrified when he read that. He wanted nothing more than to hug the small Private for this gift, but now he couldn´t do that anymore. And never again. Skipper just wanted to die now. He just wished to see his brothers again. No matter how. To die was the only solution for him now because he wasn´t able to bear the pain anymore.

Stunned, he ran waddled to Kowalski's lab and looked around. He saw many test tubes with colourful liquids. He just had to do it. He will be able to escape his depression only if he committed suicide. Skipper went to a small shelf in the corner and hoped to find something that will vanish his pain once and for all times.

On one of the many glasses he saw the inscription. Cyanide. Thus, it would be easy, thought the leader and reached for the bottle. With strange feeling in his stomach, he went back to the main room and sat down on the couch. Skipper took a deep breath, watching the liquid, which looked very inviting to him.

He was like in a trance and in the background, he heard a strange noise that he ignored further. He quickly unscrewed the lid of the bottle and wanted to take the first sip, when someone hit him the bottle from his flippers. "Skipper, no, don´t do that," said a familiar voice behind him.

As fast as he could, he turned around. And couldn´t believe it. Rico, Kowalski and Private stood before him. Soundly and alive. "How is that possible?" Skipper said in a hoarse voice. But at that moment the three rushed at him and hugged him tightly. Without words, just hugging and feeling the embrace of his friends that he thought to be dead. The leader felt like slipped into a dream.

"Skipper, we're not dead, we managed to escape the box and leave." cried the little Private and started to cry. Skipper also wept, he was so pleased with this Christmas gift. That was the best gift of all time, his friends, he had finally back. "Merry Christmas, men." Skipper murmured happily embracing his team, as he would never want to let them go again.

**Note: Try to read the story by listening to a depressive song. I´ve written the story by listening to one of my favourite bands called end of green. They have three songs that are really depressing and that was my main inspiration.**

**1. Death in Veins**

**2. I Hate**

**3. Infinity**

**BTW: You can listen to these songs on YouTube.**


	2. Note from Ladywhiplasher

**Note: Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this very, very and again very depressive story. I got inspired by two songs of a german band called end of green, I hate and Death in Veins. Well you could listen to the songs on youtube while reading this story. It will get much more darker than it already is when you listen to these songs. This is my tribut to christmas. I thought of all the people, who are alone on christmas this year. Please review. XOXO Ladywhiplasher.**

**P.S. Merry Christmas to all of you guys. I hope you keep on reading my stories.**


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